Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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