Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
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