I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
