they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
