Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
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Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
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I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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