Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
