I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
