My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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