Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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