Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
