it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
this just has baby written all over it
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
