he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
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Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
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and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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