just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
