The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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