I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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