Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
