ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
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