i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have already put on my inside pants.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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