The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Drunk is not a location!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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