Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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