Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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