just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
