I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
