Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
