garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
there's paper in my vomit.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
