it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
