we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
