I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
