Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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