She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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