My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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