I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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