Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
worst night to have a conscience
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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