you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize