Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
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We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
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I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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