haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
