Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
