so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
