No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
