ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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