Me too!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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