Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
