I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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