Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  "Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): "Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God. http://tfl.nu/18zl
  Replies (23) Good night (1378) Bad night (1189)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up http://tfl.nu/269s
  Replies (7) Good night (517) Bad night (3790)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner.... http://tfl.nu/8twx
  Replies (16) Good night (691) Bad night (3558)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality http://tfl.nu/65cw
  Replies (44) Good night (7491) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis http://tfl.nu/3jq7
  Replies (8) Good night (876) Bad night (3904)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Jealous.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls. (573): Jealous. http://tfl.nu/6b8u
  Replies (9) Good night (3745) Bad night (1661)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me http://tfl.nu/0mob
  Replies (9) Good night (991) Bad night (2956)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age. http://tfl.nu/rqe0
  Replies (26) Good night (1374) Bad night (5455)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS http://tfl.nu/w0yg
  Replies (34) Good night (10746) Bad night (1280)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond. http://tfl.nu/ueo3
  Replies (7) Good night (2170) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend. http://tfl.nu/i20e
  Replies (6) Good night (1817) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear? http://tfl.nu/anmu
  Replies (4) Good night (600) Bad night (1658)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos http://tfl.nu/whu2
  Replies (13) Good night (986) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding' http://tfl.nu/2vdw
  Replies (2) Good night (1004) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  You were supposed to behave this weekend.

  (1+61): View more from

  But... naked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): You were supposed to behave this weekend. (1+61): But... naked. http://tfl.nu/grfl
  Replies (3) Good night (635) Bad night (166)

Randomize