do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
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remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
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Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.