GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack