I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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