i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You were trust falling into bushes
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
