I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
where am i from again
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
