i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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