david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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