i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
