is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
