I wish I only lived at night.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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