he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
