Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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