Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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