ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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