how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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