i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
