yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
