my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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