If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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