is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
