he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
